Contrast, clarity and alchemising the inner victim.
I feel like I am standing high up looking down at my life. There are all manner of dots trying to join and a picture that I am shy of seems to be forming. Too early to share it? The writing will tell.
Last week I was in Alaska on an Abraham cruise (such a small sentence for the scale of that choice, the outrageous majesty of the landscapes and the vast reorientation of self) Much of me is still wordless. Some of me is now coming up for air. For those of you who don't know Abraham - consider a level of non human consciousness that transmits teachings to assist our personal and collective evolution into conscious co-creators of reality and you're getting onto the same page. If that sounded odd then what I am about to write may sound even odder, so be prepared - I am about to go out on a limb that may be a branch too far for some of you. Certainly I would have balked at this myself even months ago.
Abraham teaches about contrast (amongst many other things...) Contrast is a wonderful catch all word for 'everything that feels other than what you would like' or 'everything that clearly shows you your preferences...not to be experiencing what you are experiencing just now' or any experience of struggle that births clear knowledge that this is NOT what you want - therefore consciously or unconsciously pointing you ever closer to what you DO want.
We all know contrast - the turgid experiences that feel like hell - relationships that clearly show us what we are no longer ready to tolerate and what in fact we deeply desire - that job and the leaving of it that lines up something so much better, the dodgy foods that show us what our body really needs - the ways of thinking and being that trap and limit us, until the longing for liberation breaks us through and out into the landscapes within that have been calling for our feet...
This is a re-contextualization of the act of experiencing what we don't want so that we can get ever clearer about what we do want - and then learning how to be receptive to the creation and realisation of that desire. There were so many teachings about contrast on the cruise, and how to re-perceive experiences that we dislike and often judge ourselves for struggling with, as gifts in broad daylight. But as it went on I started thinking about those of us who are born into contrast. Why arrive into chaos and suffering - why so extreme? I could go in depth here about past lives, karma etc but suffice it to say that for Abraham, that wasn't it.
As I sat with it I thought about what I know to be true about myself. How many times have I heard myself say that when life takes everything away from you, then your personal reclamation of each and every part of yourself brings a level of conscious awareness and appreciation that simply isn't there when you have the privilege of taking body and soul for granted. There has been a fire in my belly since childhood along with a stubborn refusal to remain in the shape that life 'apparently' cast for me. I am not that. We women, are not that. I refuse to accept the unacceptable. So I asked.
I didn't raise my hand. I suddenly called to Abraham internally in the last 3 minutes of the very last session - ANSWER MY QUESTION - PLEASE - something within me flared up and was met with something reaching back down - and in that very moment, the women that was on stage asking questions about karma shifted topic and asked straight out 'why do children get raped' - the perfect foil for my question - 'why arrive into extreme contrast', and back came, 'you choose severe contrast to develop strong clarity and desire' or put another way, to trigger an equal strength of desire for the opposite reality... to help you get REALLY clear about what you DO want in this life and to point you in that direction... It went deep.
My body started crying the way it does when my cover is blown or truth arrives singing opera. Really? Could we be that causative in the creation of our own struggle? If my soul has a purpose - if there is something that I want to do - could I set up the circumstances needed to generate a strong enough clarity and momentum so that I have sufficient fire needed to carry me there? Radical concept.
Whether or not TreeSisters grows to the scale that it was birthed for, one thing seems clear - that I will stay on this path and trajectory that started long ago within circumstances that were paving the way for its birth, through my own emphatic refusal to bow to what was. I was seeding the longing for utter beauty, freedom, safety, respect, reverence, creativity, joy, sisterhood and the feminine unbound in all her incandescent glory, wisdom and brilliance - cast in the role of her choosing and her birthright. Here's what stunned me though. Taking full responsibility for the creation and purpose of contrast in our lives takes us out of the role of hapless victim. It reflects a different quality of human back to ourselves - beings who consciously understand the complexity of the energetic realms - the reactivity of our bodies and egos - what is needed to trigger a response - how to generate momentum - how to wake up to who we really are as highly conscious creators and determiners of our own life experience, and then to create them.
Seen through this lens, if we created circumstances that apparently seeded victim consciousness, then our lives could actually be more about its opposite. IF - we can adjust our self perception and step into creator mentality. Just to be clear here - I am not saying that powerlessness is cool, rape is fine, suffering is great or that the million ways that we have found to hurt each other are ok. No, never, not, nope. I'm trying to look behind the furniture of our lives to explore the degree to which we might have a finger, hand or whole soul involvement in our scripting - if such a thing even exists. I have come at this from sooo many different angles in my life - but this one intrigues me. More to the point, if I look through this lens, then what about womankind? Why do we find ourselves on a planet where the feminine has been suppressed, repressed, dominated, exploited, owned, used, traded and abused in so many ways and in so many places historically and concurrently? How do we have I-Pads in America and witch burnings in Africa?
Why are we en masse experiencing such contrast - and could we be building the momentum and the clarity needed for an immense turning? Are we generating the equal and opposite internal force required to steer human consciousness onto a completely different trajectory? Are we choosing this severity to break through our own compliance with the unacceptable, to consciously co-create the reality of our choice - where women and the feminine principle are revered as equally sacred as the masculine within a world that stands at the ultimate cross roads of extinction or exaltation? God, it feels risky to write this - I have no idea how these words will be interpreted and I am somewhat nervous to be thoroughly misunderstood, but I did say I was heading out on a limb and it's only offered as a 'what if' point of exploration. And the truth is - I just don't know. But what if personally casting ourselves as creators out of which our own conscious evolution arises is the alchemical re-contextualization that turns the lead of the so called victim into the gold of the liberated?
By Clare Dubois
Moth in sunset photo by Jonathan Harel
Clare Dubois is the founder of TreeSisters. Clare is an Earth loving social entrepreneur and inspirational speaker who worked internationally for 18 years facilitating groups, coaching business leaders and creating behaviour change processes within the personal growth sector. Clare is leading the TreeSisters campaign; focusing on network development and the empowerment of women. She has been developing the ethos and principles, the team and organisational culture, the campaign strategy, the framework of the Maps and behaviour change materials. She is committed to the creation of an evolving system that learns as it goes and continually models itself upon the flows and forms of living systems.