Five Steps to Connect to your Inner Feminine


I took a journey into the silence. Into a place where I could hear the most subtle of voices...the voice that has been buried under the chattering of the mind...I went to find my inner feminine. I took this journey of out desperation...out of a deep need or longing to know all of myself; to live all of myself and to bring love into this world.

I am not a teacher, but I can tell you some things which are instrumental in this continuously unfolding process. Of course, there is the great mystery which helps us along, but as you know we have to participate and I think my willingness to be led and to listen, taught me how this relationship worked. Maybe you know some of these things already, I expect you do, but a reminder, I have found, is always good.

Elisabetta Trevisan 7 By Tree

Listen. I still have trouble listening to the true voice. There are so many ways my ego desires get in the way. "I am this! This is my true calling!" "This is my offering!" I have found these types of responses pop up first when I ask a question inwardly...but what might be under that? If one goes more deeply into the silence with patience and love maybe something will come from a deeper place, a fainter voice, one that is not yet known, but needs attention and honoring? Often I find it is something I never thought of, in words that I do not normally use...or something I really don't want to do, but I try to hear it...give it space and attention and do what I can to respond.

I have also found that powerful information from the unconsciousis delivered through my dreams. To honor them, I try to keep the images in my heart, holding them with remembrance like a jewel. I keep calling my felt sense of it and the images to mind...feeling the potency and asking the inner question. "What do I need to understand?"

Our bodies also speak and need to be heard. I try to ask "how does this feel?" in any given situation so that I can sense what wisdom my body has to offer.

Stop. This means many things. But I will start with— stop beating oneself up with the battering mind—"you are not good enough, you are worthless, who do you think you are?"

To do this, one has to catch this sneaky bugger and notice that it is happening. It is on an unconscious loop—going, going, going—This judgment of ourselves is so toxic and mostly unnoticed under the surface of our consciousness. It keeps us from expressing ourselves and living our power. Since we have to catch and stop this voice, you have to hear it. So inner listening is an essential skill.

Also stop doing. Stop making yourself busy. Try just being with the moment...the view in the window, the sound of a clock...the beating of your heart, the rhythm of your breath. You can do this in nature. I like to call it intimate presence with Self.

Stop the mind from telling its stories of greatness and failure. Stop trying to be something or change yourself... and just be with yourself. It may be uncomfortable, but then just try to be with the discomfort.

Elisabetta Trevisan 5 with birds

Accept. Can I just accept the simplicity of being me? Who I am...all the stuff I might think is crappy and have tried to change for years. Can I accept my beauty and power, even though sometimes it makes others uncomfortable? Can I accept myself as a flawed human being and my life as simple? Can I accept myself as deeply talented as well? Can I? What would this mean if I did?

Feel. I can say for myself...that this aspect of transformation is something which for years kept me from doing the inner work. I thought all the emotions—anger, grief and shame— would kill me. I thought my rage might kill others. But I had no choice. I had to take the risk...and feel what needed to be felt...all the things I had avoided for YEARS needed my attention and presence. They needed to come I let them. What I found after a time is that this process cleansed me. This was instrumental in any shift that was to willingness to be with my own pain.

Practice. Over and over...when one gets out of alignment, start again without any self-harassment or judgment. It is simply a practice and we start over and over again.

It takes a lot of bravery to do this work...but women are utterly designed to it and as we all feel and know, the time is now.

by Megan McFeely

Art by Elizabetta Trevisan

MeganMcFeelyMegan McFeely Director/Producer, AS SHE IS, follows the inner path of Sufism and has been on a journey towards what is natural, essential and authentic for most of her life. The question, "Who are we as human beings from the inside of ourselves?" has been at the center of her inquiry. She spent more than 25 years providing strategic communications counsel for media and technology companies, authors and non-profit organizations to create voice and visibility for what is coming next.


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